Fashionably Dead In Diapers

Autor: Robyn Peterman
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781941377000
File Size: 43,41 MB
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And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard...That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few tips... Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You're welcome. Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all--they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this. Have sex. When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Often times your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances. Have sex again. When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid a parent could consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird. At least cuddle. Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist. Find a closet and go to town.

Fashionably Dead

Autor: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Robyn\Peterman
ISBN: 9780989496025
File Size: 26,96 MB
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When Astrid tries to stop smoking she ends up a member of the undead. She had never believed in vampyres before, but now she knows that they do exist no matter what she thought before.

Fashionably Dead Down Under

Autor: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Fashionably Dead Down Under
ISBN: 9780989496049
File Size: 63,34 MB
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"Welcome to hell. Literally. The Hell where the Prince of Darkness is hotter than Hades, Hell Hounds smell like brownies and the Seven Deadly Sins are addicted to Facebook...Not to mention the soundtrack in the Underworld is Journey. For real. I should have known no good could come from offing my parents in the space of twenty minutes no matter how psychotic and evil they were... Now I find out my family tree includes almost every deity and mythological being alive while Ethan, the one and only love of my undead life has a limited time down under before he turns to dust. In the land of Sin, you'd think I'd get some nookie time with my man, but no. Baby Demons, cousins and grandparents put the kibosh on that. Blue balls are the new normal. What the hell does a half-Vampyre Half-Demon have to do to catch a break? Apparently find a freakin' sword, calm Mother Nature's unmedicated mood swings and make sure Mister Rogers keeps his sticky fingers to himself during weekly poker with the Devil. And I have three days to do it. By all that's unholy, I thought Ethan's Vampyre family was crazy... Trust me, they have nothing on the Demons,"--back cover.

Fashionably Dead And Wed

Autor: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781537414935
File Size: 20,77 MB
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I know I'm already mated...I wanna get married. What do you get when you combine a three headed monster named Charles, a rotund, gay, dancing Demon named Doug, a culinary disaster baked by Mother Nature, a celibate premarital councilor named Jeff, an offer from Satan that's impossible to refuse and Steve Perry? You get the Royal Wedding from Hell-or to be more accurate-possibly in Hell. All I want to do is marry the Vampyre of my dreams with my closest friends and family in attendance. Yep, I know nuptials in the undead world are unheard of, but I'm still hanging onto my humanity if only by a thread. Being mated is great, but getting married is important to me. Tacky invitations and cake that causes food poisoning aside, I also need to deal with the stream of Demons entering my world from mysteriously opened portals. Not to mention Angel Jeff is going to fail us on the premarital test if we participate in any nookie before the wedding. I'm trying really hard not to go bridezilla on everyone. With five days to plan the wedding, I have figure out who's opening the portals and deal with our hostile allies who think our wedding is a farce. It's been a very difficult week-especially the no nookie part. All I know is this, I will say I do on Saturday even if it I have to go to Hell and back to accomplish it.

Fashionably Late

Autor: Beth Kendrick
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416516506
File Size: 40,27 MB
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From a winning voice in fiction -- the author of My Favorite Mistake and Exes and Ohs -- comes a romantic comedy that will have you in stitches. She's late for her life... Becca Davis has always played it safe -- denying her passion for fashion design in a dead-end job and letting her pragmatic boyfriend (mastermind of the "Kevin Bradley Ten-Year Plan") make the tough decisions in life. Stunned into saying yes when Mr. Predictable springs a surprise proposal on her, Becca realizes that she's running out of time to turn her life around. She's only got one more chance to chase her dreams and no one -- not her control freak fiancé, not her dramaholic sisters, not her overprotective parents -- will talk her out of it. He's right on time. Terrified but determined, Becca breaks off her engagement, moves in with her sister in Los Angeles, and prepares to take the fashion world by storm. The reality of the Hollywood scene is much harsher than she anticipated -- lots of slamming doors, snooty clients, and double-crossing celebrity stylists -- but she won't give up. And while she's waiting for her big break, she meets Connor, a sexy risk-taker who's the polar opposite of her ex-fiancé. Is Becca ready for his all-or-nothing approach to love? With her design business taking off and her family starting to fall apart, she's about to learn the timeliest lesson of all: Love and fashion wait for no woman.

The Charley Davidson Series

Autor: Darynda Jones
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 146688990X
File Size: 71,91 MB
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Darynda Jones has garnered a strong following with her series starring Grim Reaper Charley Davidson. Here together for the first time in a stunning eBook bundle are the first three novels in the New York Times bestselling paranormal series: First Grave on the Right Charley sees dead people. And it's her job to convince them to "go into the light." But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e., murder), sometimes they want Charley to bring the bad guys to justice. Complicating matters are the intensely hot dreams she's been having about an Entity who has been following her all her life...and it turns out he might not be dead after all. In fact, he might be something else entirely. Second Grave on the Left When Charley and Cookie, her best friend slash receptionist, have to track down a missing woman, the case is not quite as open and shut as they anticipate. Meanwhile, Reyes Alexander Farrow (otherwise known as the Son of Satan. Yes. Literally.) has left his corporeal body because he's being tortured by demons who want to lure Charley closer. But Reyes can't let that happen. Because if the demons get to Charley, they'll have a portal to heaven. And if they have a portal to heaven...well, let's just say it wouldn't be pretty. Third Grave Dead Ahead Every time Charley closes her eyes, she sees him: Reyes Farrow, the part-human, part-supermodel son of Satan. Yes, she did imprison him for all eternity, but come on. How is she supposed to solve a missing persons case, deal with an ego-driven doctor, calm her curmudgeonly dad, and take on a motorcycle gang hell-bent on murder when the devil's son just won't give up?

How Hard Can It Be

Autor: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 1601830629
File Size: 45,11 MB
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What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail--just to start with. . . Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance? Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn't commit--by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I've found my calling after all. . . "For a good time, read Robyn Peterman!" --Michelle Rowen, national bestselling author "A zany over-the-top rompfest." --Lexi George, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar "Outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy and all kinds of wacky!" --Michelle Rowen, national bestselling author 91,500 Words

The Accidental Demon Slayer

Autor: Angie Fox
Publisher: Moose Island Books
ISBN: 1939661048
File Size: 37,48 MB
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New York Times bestseller! It's never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl. For Lizzie Brown, that's just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking, and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she's seen it all, Lizzie learns she's a demon slayer—and all hell is after her. Of course, that's not the only thing after her. Dimitri Kallinikos, a devastatingly handsome shape-shifting griffin, needs Lizzie to slay a demon of his own. But how do you talk a girl you've never met into going straight to the underworld? Lie. And if that doesn't work how dangerous could a little seduction be...? ALSO BY ANGIE FOX: BIKER WITCHES SERIES: The Accidental Demon Slayer The Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers A Tale of Two Demon Slayers The Last of the Demon Slayers I Brake for Biker Witches (short story) My Big Fat Demon Slayer Wedding Beverly Hills Demon Slayer Night of the Living Demon Slayer Date with a Demon Slayer (short story) I Dream of Demon Slayers - coming soon!* *To receive an email on the day this book releases, sign up for new release alerts at http://eepurl.com/cdIn41 THE SOUTHERN GHOST HUNTER SERIES Southern Spirits A Ghostly Gift (short story) The Skeleton in the Closet Ghost of a Chance (short story) The Haunted Heist Deader Homes and Gardens Dog Gone Ghost (short story) Sweet Tea and Spirits - coming soon!* *To receive an email on the day this book releases, sign up for new release alerts at http://eepurl.com/cdIn41

Dexter Is Dead

Autor: Jeff Lindsay
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 0385536542
File Size: 47,31 MB
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After seven national bestsellers and eight seasons as one of the most successful shows on television, New York Times bestselling author Jeff Lindsay bids a thrilling farewell to his uniquely twisted and beloved serial killer, Dexter Morgan. Dexter Is Dead is the definitive conclusion of the character who has become a global icon. Dexter Morgan has burned the candle at both ends for many years. Blood spatter analyst . . . husband . . . father . . . serial killer. And now, for the first time, his world has truly collapsed. Dexter is arrested on charges of murder. He has lost everything—including his wife, his kids, and the loyalty of his sister. Now completely alone, Dexter faces a murder charge (for a crime . . . ironically . . . he did not actually commit). His only chance for freedom lies with his brother, Brian, who has a dark plan to prove Dexter's innocence. But the stakes are deadly, and the epic showdown that lies in Dexter's path may lead, once and for all, to his demise. Jeff Lindsay's trademark devilish wit and cutting satire have never been sharper. Dexter Is Dead marks the end of a beloved series, but is also Dexter's most satisfying and suspenseful outing yet. From the Hardcover edition.